Just Keep Scrolling

Am I the only one who, while on Facebook, will simply scroll past a post that I perceive to be ignorant or inappropriate?

I see so many arguments on Facebook because someone posted something that offended someone or was just plain ignorant and other users feel compelled to point this ignorance out to them or convince them of why their opinions are wrong.

The result of this is frustration on the part of all who choose to be involved. It is also a major distraction because everyone who has weighed in keeps checking back for comments, and also continues to try and "one up" those with opposing views.

Common examples I see are comments on political views, questionable photos, or maybe something that is considered TMI (too much information) such as details on an argument with a spouse, a work issue, etc.

I think the one thing we have to consider when we reply to these posts is our intent behind replying. If the intent is pure, and this is your family member or friend, then consider inboxing them or calling them to offer help or kind words. On the other side of things, if your intent is to tell the person they are wrong or otherwise put them down about what they are posting then the optimal answer to this is to just keep scrolling.

I will admit there was a time where I got caught up in these arguments and passion took over but I have realized that it is simply not worth it. If a person posts regular things that offend you then unfollow or unfriend. Social media is not intended to be stressful. It is meant to be informative and fun. We can often help make it that way by being mindful of our own posting, and evaluating our intent before we reply to others.

Have a story to share related to this topic or want to sound off? Comment below and bring others to the table as well.

Finish this Story: The Unfortunate Secret

So, I thought I would try something new this week. I was thinking it would be fun, and very interesting, to try out an old activity and see where it takes us. Post a comment that continues this story.

Then, comment on the stories of others and let's see whose continuation of the story gets the most attention. The next edition of Finish the Story will feature the winner.

Ready? Let's go.

The Unfortunate Secret

They are keeping a secret and it is going to catch up to them. Secrets always do. And when it hits them it will hit hard. Not only will it hit hard, it will devastate everything in its wake. The unfortunate part for them is they have no idea they are holding the same secret. While the information they are holding is the same, it is from two very different perspectives. 

If they are to discover they are holding the same secret it could work for them in one way but work against them in another. They each suspect the other may have been there that day but neither knows for sure. The risk of inquiring is too great. The time is coming for the information to be exposed along with everyone involved. While neither of them ever planned to be a part of it, they were not given an option. Now, a decision must be made and their options are limited.

Who made you who you are?

Over the holidays, I was blessed to spend a few relaxing days at home. During that time, I took the opportunity to find a new series to watch on Netflix. The show I chose is called Lie to Me. It is a fantastic show premised upon the science of deception.

In the show the lead character, Dr. Cal Lightman, has studied this science for many years while one of his newest members of the team, Ria Torres, possesses a natural talent for identifying the unspoken communication of movements in the face, body, and sentence structure, that indicate deception.

In an intense scene, from season one, some of Ria's past is revealed. While this past is painful for her, Dr. Lightman is in her face and tells her that the person responsible for her pain is the reason she has a natural gift for identifying deception. His exact words were, "He made you who you are."

While Ria seems to take this revelation in, she then turns the question back on to Dr. Lightman and asks him who that person is from his past that made him who he is. The episode ends there and leaves the viewer with this heavy thought.

Naturally, I began to reflect on my own life and the events and people that have made me who I am. While there are so many wonderful people and events that have shaped my life, there are some very painful ones as well. While I won't go into any of those things here, this one scene has had a lasting impact.

What I have learned in this life is that our pain is often not even for us. Many times it has shaped us to become people that are able to be a blessing to others. Although Dr. Lightman and Ria Torres are characters from a show, the life principal is solid.

We are survivors. We are created for a high purpose. Our pain is not in vain. We are responsible for using the gifts life has given us to help as many people as possible.

The reason no one listens to you

Simon Sinek said it best. "People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it." In watching a video on YouTube where Sinek goes into detail on this subject, it occurred to me that this is a life lesson that can be applied to every area. That being the case, it is something to take to heart.

With today being the first day of 2016 it is traditionally a day of reflection, as well as, a day to commit to new and better actions for the new year. It is an exciting time. The part, however, that can become disappointing is when no one shares your excitement or even wants to hear what you have to say.

Everyone wants to have a voice. Why wouldn't others want to hear it? Especially those that love and care about us? There are a few reasons that crossed my mind, just this morning, as I pondered this. And I believe it starts with assessing "why" we are communicating our goals in the first place and why we even chose those goals.

A couple of brief reasons why no one listens to you could be:

What you say - Are you communicating your goal to people who have no interest in your end goal (i.e. your why)? Often it is not necessary to communicate the goal at all. Simply go out and execute it. However, if you want people to buy in, communicate why you are making these plans before you communicate what the plans are. Watch Sinek's video to see great examples of this.

How you say it - Are your words being presented kindly, with good intent, and in a good spirit? Again, ask yourself why you are saying what you are saying? No one wants to listen to someone when they question their reason for speaking in the first place.

Your credibility - Are you saying the same thing you said last year and the year before? Even the people who love us the most can grow tired of hearing us talk about the same thing but not seeing us make any progression toward the goal.

If you want your day of reflection to count and you want people to listen to you, start with "why." Why are you reflecting? Why are you choosing the goals you are choosing and why are you voicing them in the manner you chose? The answers to these questions are within you alone. Once you grasp on to why you truly do what you do, you will see the difference in how people respond to you and how others are inspired by you.

"People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it."